It’s Time… Stress, Take the Hot Seat 🔥Here’s what happened when we finally asked the questions

Hi VIM community! Wouldn’t it be great if our stress had a voice? Well, in honor of April as Stress Awareness Month, I invited my friend Stress to sit down for a Q and A! I hope you enjoy our chat!

Welcome Stress, thanks for taking the time to chat today. I feel like I’ve known you forever, but since this is your month I’d love to learn more about your job and maybe figure out how we can work together.

Are you kidding, I’m thrilled to be here. Seriously, more often than not people ignore me or are afraid of what it means when I show up. I feel so misunderstood a lot of the time. I mean I get it; I stress myself out always scanning for danger and leading the body’s crisis response team. Don’t get me wrong, I have the best job in the world. I love that my reason for living is to protect everybody.

Wow, that must be a huge responsibility. I’m curious, how do you do it?

Honestly, I’m not sure. I sometimes feel like I am on autopilot. All I know is that when I sense there is a threat, nothing else matters. It’s like something takes over my mind and the only thing I can focus on is doing whatever it takes to make you safe. I confess, I can get carried away and sometimes take it too far. When this happens, my efforts to keep people safe can feel and look like the opposite. It’s hard for me to know when to stop so I just keep going and going….like that bunny with the drum.

Ugh, I think I know what you are talking about. I sometimes feel like I am being punished and can get confused as to why you popped up. It’s really hard for me to want to believe you have my best interest in mind.

Oh no, hearing this makes my heart race and all the muscles in my body suddenly feel tense. I’m kinda tingling and it’s hard to catch a full breathe. I don’t know if I want to run away, argue with you, or just shut down.

Oh dear, I can see that you do not feel safe in this moment. Let’s STOP for a minute.

Ok, but what do we do after we stop?

STOP is a helpful acronym I use when I do not know what else to do. Let’s do it together:

S - stop. Let’s both pause.

T - take a breath. Count to 4 on inhale, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Repeat.

O - observe your surroundings by tuning in to all 5 of your senses.

P - proceed. You can do this several times until you feel safer

Ahhhhhhh…for some reason I feel more grounded and present after that. (Sheepishly) I feel pretty foolish for not being able to think my way thru that episode. It’s like the part of my brain that helps me understand my world goes dark and I cannot hear over all the other cries for help coming from the rest of my body.

Well, that makes perfect sense, the thinking part of your brain literally turns off when you believe there is a threat. Since thinking is not an option, you have to assume any sign of a threat is the real thing. Stopping to ponder the threat or ask questions is not going to keep you safe.

Huh, so what you’re saying is I’m kinda a big deal?!

Yep, you sure are! Without you taking control of all the life giving bodily functions like breathing, movement, heart function, digestion, and hormone release to name a few, we would have gone the way of the dinosaurs long ago! Seriously, you have a hand in the operation of every single organ and bodily system.

Oh no, here we go, I’m feeling overwhelmed again…

Oh, ok. Thank you for letting me know. Let’s see if we can head things off before they get more uncomfortable for both of us. When in doubt, STOP! Let me know when you are ready to proceed.

All good here, that really helped. I realize there is no immediate danger and I can relax.

Whoa, I just had an Ahhh Haaa moment too! When you start talking to me through my body, you are asking for help by showing me where I could use a little TLC.

Finally, you get me! I really prefer to use my inside voice when asking for help but when that doesn’t work I am not afraid to call in the troops and use the whole body to get your attention. After all, if you are OK, I’m OK. I depend on you to take care of me as much as you need me.

This is big, I think I am starting to see the pattern. Thank you for being patient with me.

So this might sound really strange, but I have an idea that might help us work together a little more efficiently. As long as you do not mind feeling a little silly, I promise it is 100% safe and guaranteed to help. I for one would like to give my troops some time to rest and recover!

Oh, interesting, now you’ve piqued my curiosity….

Ha, that’s it!

Wait, what’s it?

CURIOSITY!

Hold up, so you’re suggesting I try to be curious about what is happening in my body when I sound the threat alarm and start preparing the troops? I dunno about this idea, it does sound weird.

Told ya it was strange but stay with me and I’ll explain.

So it’s true that the thinking part of the brain shuts down when you sound the alarm for danger. It is also true that when we react to the alarm by automatically shifting into problem solving mode, this only increases the threat level. What I’m suggesting, is to respond to the alarm with curiosity about what is happening in your body. This means of course that you have to make the assumption there is important information to be discovered.

Hmmmm, I still think this sounds a little off the wall but I’m listening. So how does it work?

It’s actually pretty easy and something I bet you already do in other situations. Think about the last time you felt really awful physically, emotionally, or because of a situation. You were feeling so terrible you just didn’t know what to do so you reached out to your most trusted friend. As soon as your friend saw you they knew you were not ok and sat down to listen. As you began to describe all the thoughts, feelings, and circumstances that were threatening you, your friend was supportive and compassionate. They asked questions in an effort to understand, and refrained from offering up solutions.

Ohhhh, yes I felt so safe and respected last time that happened. As a matter of fact, after my friend helped me acknowledge where and how I was hurting, I began to feel by whole body relax. By the time we said goodbye, I had the start of a plan to help me get back to feeling like my whole self! It was so nice to know I am not on my own, and that I usually know what I need.

Hold on, we’re doing that right now!

YES, pretty cool right?! This is curiosity in action…no matter what your thoughts or body are communicating, we sit with it like our own best friend.

We might ask that sensation or thought to simply tell us more. Ask it what it needs to feel better. Is there something you are trying to teach me?

If you have some ideas about what might help, then check them out by asking the part of you that seems to be yelling for attention. If we pay attention to what happens inside our body, it will answer. We might notice tense muscles relax, stomach gurgles, a softer voice, or even a small glimmer of hope. Whatever we notice, just keep responding with interest and curiosity.

You can even borrow my go to line... Tell me how that makes you feel? :-) I can’t promise you will always discover answers, but I can promise that staying curious will keep you safe and it’s certainly better than the alternative.

(Laughing) Well, since it is all about me this month, I’m going to try this and see what happens! I can’t wait to report my findings. If I get stuck or have any other questions, can I call you?

Absolutely. We are all in this together so please do reach out if you need more tips, a little encouragement, or have a great victory to celebrate. Connect with your primary care provider, me, or my colleagues Laura Minnich and Dr. Aleena Bodoe by calling (904) 399-2766.